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Parenthood
is an exciting phase of life. It brings joy and laughter
but it also comes with its concomitant problems. In the
frustration of our parenting we may have even let it out
on our children unaware.
As
such, it is important for us to first understand our own
emotions, as they are the source of our frustration.
Parenting is a demanding job and it can sometimes get on
our nerves. It is strange but true that none of us have
ever gone for any formal training in it. We were simply
thrust into parenting when the children came.
Tired from a day at work and with the lack of experience
in parenting can really make us feel like a total
failure. It is a fact that most working parents today
are confronted with such stress and frustration. As
such, the disciplining of our children can become less
constructive and more destructive. We tend to let our
frustration out on our children.
It
is therefore important to address our emotional needs so
that we can have a proper balance in parenting and our
personal needs. Hence it is vital to meet our personal
needs as well as those of our spouse. Therefore, do take
some time for personal development or recreational
activities. Have some outdoor family activities as well
as activities just for the two of you as husband and
wife. Support each other in times of difficulties and
stress. Have a wide circle of support network so that
you can get emotional support in times of needs.
Learn
to understand the make-up of your child, as each of them
is different. Some children can be simply strong-willed,
while others are compliant. Harsh discipline or physical
punishment may not help at times. The child’s
strong-will should instead be channelled into pursuing
constructive or wholesome activities that he/she enjoys.
As for studies, it is important to find out your
children’s learning style too and let them learn in
the way that suits them best. As parents we have to
accept and respect them for who they are and this can
help them to go a long way in their studies.
Learn
to manage your own stress by doing some relaxation
exercises or listen to some soothing music or go for a
stroll. Make affirmative statements like– “Yes I can
do it with God’s help” “With God all things are
possible” “He is the Vine and I am the branches”
Most of all, enjoy your family and your role as God’s
stewards of the children He has given under your charge.
Written
by Dr Spencer Lee
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